I think this is a good question, but not one with an easy answer. Let me give it a go anyway.
First of all, let's focus on the classic Weierstrass case. The points on an elliptic curve $E$ in this shape form a group. We can do this by the standard way (in most cases): draw a line between two points $P$ and $Q$, intersect at a unique third point, and invert across the $x$-axis. The resulting point $R$ is defined to be $P+Q$. Many standard texts indeed provide proofs that the points with this operation form a group.
Now, as you may have noticed, this way of defining the group depends very much on the way we represent the elliptic curve. That is, it assumes that we write $E$ as the set of solutions to $y^2=x^3+ax+b$. Can we also define the group law without making this assumption? The answer is yes.
How to do this, is quite complicated. Think of an elliptic curve $E$ as a very abstract object, not even assuming how to represent its points. It can be shown, that there exist some group attached to $E$, which is the degree-0 group of something called the Picard group. We denote it by $\operatorname{Pic}^0(E)$. Even more, it can be shown that there is a bijection between the points of $E$ and elements of $\operatorname{Pic}^0(E)$. Because $\operatorname{Pic}^0(E)$ is a group, so are the points on $E$.
So, we know that the points on $E$ form a group. How do we compute it? Well, it depends on how we represent points on $E$. If we choose to write points as $(x,y)$, where $y^2=x^3+ax+b$, then it is the classical way. If we choose to write points on $E$ as $(u,v)$ where $u^2+v^2=1+du^2v^2$, then it is done in the way you described.
TLDR How do we prove that your $x_3$ and $y_3$ are correct? As above, we need to prove that they correspond to a point on $E$ such that it corresponds exactly to the group law defined by $\operatorname{Pic}^0(E)$. For this specific case, your best bet is the original paper or the cryptographic application paper. In particular I would look at section 3 of the latter paper.